It was really interesting. Considering that my mother was a stay-at-home mom, it seems I would have had an advantage in understanding the role of wife and mother. I definitely saw my father as the leader of the home, although he was gone a lot for work. Yet, I grew up thinking I could do whatever I wanted with my life. I could become a doctor... my original plan... then it was nursing... then it was counseling... I did have a hard time settling with what career I wanted to pursue but pursuing a career seemed to be the best thing to do. I was treated the same as any boy was treated... I could do anything that they did. I even played on the boys soccer team in high school freshman and sophomore year. After that, the boys were getting a bit stronger and bigger than me... so I didn't pursue that anymore. You would think even that would have given me a clue that men and women are created different. We are equal and we can do most of the same things (I could certainly be a doctor!) but we are still different and we have been given different roles in marriage.
While you may never marry, I think it is worth being prepared for and familiar with what it is. Unfortunately we don't go to school to learn how to be an excellent wife and mother and now that that is my main thing in life... well, I wish I had had more training. Again, I suppose I had the example of my own mother, but I still find myself grasping for mentorship and encouragement in this area.
So... a couple thoughts from the broadcasts:
When we are first in love it is hard to imagine any conflict arising. But that is short-lived. As Eggerichs noted in the interview, women wear pink colored glasses, have pink hearing aids, and a pink megaphone. Men have blue-colored glasses, have blue hearing aids, and a blue megaphone. Men and women see things differently, hear things differently, and respond differently. Eggerichs talked on submission: to submit to my husband is to respect him, especially in the midst of a conflict. and my husband submits to me by showing me love, especially in the midst of conflict. The "submission passage" in Ephesians 5 can be confusing in this culture where currently to submit or to humble yourself or to put someone else before your desires... well this is unheard of!
To submit is a choice to be humble. It is about tone of voice. It is about supporting your husband's decision even if you disagree. (You can tell him your concerns, your view in a non critical way, but then tell him that you will follow his lead in what he thinks is best for your family.)
Of course we are not to follow our husband into sin. We are not the enable sinful behavior. In this case, some outside help will likely be needed.
After listening to these two broadcasts, I come away thinking that I am too critical, not humble, not submissive, not respectful. I say whatever I think and I think I am right all the time. This is an attitude I need to throw to the fire. I need to stop holding a conflict BETWEEN us and start doing my part to work as a team to resolve it. I need to have a quieter spirit. I like what Easley said about her 3 day rule that she got from the book of Esther. Esther waited 3 days to speak with the king about her concern. If something is bothering me-- wait 3 days before bringing it up. By then, emotions have calmed. By then, it may not be an issue anymore. If it is, bring it up. It can be hard to wait... but waiting may be the respectful thing to do.
Respect and submission is an attitude of the heart it seems... we see Jesus as a teenager choosing to submit to his parents. We see Jesus submitting to the Father. A few years ago I was struggling somewhat with this submission issue. (Apparently this is an ongoing thing for me... have not learned all I need to learn yet!) It was probably the first time that I thought God answered me right then and there with Scripture from Philippians 2. He just brought it to mind. I thought: Jesus did not consider his equality with God something to be grasped. I don't need to grasp for what feels like equality... I need to humble myself as Jesus did.
I would like to read these books for further review of the topic and to grow in this area! I don't get as much reading done as I would like to..... but these are now on my reading list.
Probably should write a little more on this topic... but need to go for now. Kids are waking up!
