there will be days like this

sometimes i wonder what i got myself into. people in the church would talk to me about the blessing of children... which of course is true. but it is a challenge as well... a journey of sanctification. this i did not realize.

going on 10 months of sleepless nights... and when you don't eat well either... this is hard. especially when the doctor tells me you need to eat more. how do i make you eat, charlotte?

then henry is toilet-training. he has been screaming all morning about jelly beans. he doesn't care about staying dry. it is all about the candy. so much so that he has climbed up to the counter to retrieve it and eat a good portion (along with oliver) when i am busy with you. the first time oliver lied about it. the second time he smiled and admitted it.

for some reason, discipline is ineffective in the face of sugar. self control is lacking more than ever!

yes, i have been losing my patience. i wonder if i am cut out to be a mom. i feel like my kids don't listen to me even though i strive to be consistent and caring in my discipline.

eventually i lose it.

sure, there will be days like this. but with God's help, i know they can be less and less. i know that if i strive to thrive, i will do much better than survive this journey. i will enjoy it. and i will grow. now that sounds good.